I credit this essay with everything I’ve done in my career.

Years after writing it, when I was studying abroad in Germany, Dr. Thomas Bledsoe, our Brown University chaperone, still remembered it. That’s the power of a compelling admissions essay—when it sticks with someone long after they’ve read it.

A great BS/MD personal statement isn’t just about showing why you want to be a doctor. It’s about storytelling. It’s about capturing the depth of your experiences and making your reader feel something.

This was the essay that got me into Brown’s Program in Liberal Medical Education (PLME). I want to share it with you in full, followed by a breakdown of why it worked—so you can use the same strategies in your own BS/MD essays.

The PLME Admissions Essay That Changed My Life

The heavy smell of bleach and sickness intermingled as I, clutching my copy of Orwell's 1984, walked pointedly towards the waiting room. I didn't want to be seen by any of the nurses. In a flash, a familiar face turned the corner and stopped me dead in my tracks with her toothy grin.

"Hi, Rory! It's been so long since we've seen you around here, you never stop by…"

She went on, oblivious to my secret desire to run from the place. As she began to inform me about her new house, I reflected on the journey, which had led me back to the hospital.

I've always wanted to be a doctor. There exist a bounty of reasons for this goal, however, I was never completely certain until age fourteen. Wanting to test the medical field out before deciding to dedicate myself to a lifetime of learning, I signed up for a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) class at the local college.

I relished practicing nursing techniques and adored the mandatory hours of hands-on experience with children. Nevertheless, the eighty hours of long-term care experience was not a highlight. On my first day as a CNA, I was charged with eleven patients. By day two I had ten; we lost Arthur overnight. The decline continued. In fact, what had become ten soon became four. I felt devastated seeing people who I cared for die.

So, here I was, back at the nursing home for an in-service. I desperately wanted to hide with my novel, but the nurse kept on talking. She offered, "You know Rory, it looks like Eleanor only has a few more days."

I looked up from the floor, "You mean…?"

"Yeah."

I remembered why I disliked coming there; I always got bad news.

The nurse said, "Would you go in and see her? She'll remember your voice." From experience, I knew that losing her vision meant she was end-stage.

I went in.

In my best nurse's voice, I said, "Hi Eleanor! I missed you!" My throat tightened as I surveyed the scene. Eleanor's hair had fallen out and her body, a mere skeleton of what it once was. For somebody so outspoken, I struggled for words.

Eleanor wanted to talk about dying, so I offered, "Have you learned anything from all this?"

"Oh, I'm too old to go on learning anything," she replied.

"No Eleanor, I meant, what is the purpose of life?"

I could scarcely believe as a senior in high school I was having this conversation with a woman on her deathbed.

She closed her eyes, whispering, "To leave it a better place."

She added, "Oh, I'm not making any sense…"

Determined to help, I said, "No Eleanor, you make perfect sense. We should leave this world a better place than when we entered it."

After a brief silence, Eleanor spoke her last words to me, "You're a good boy."

Her words, so simple, sanctified all I have, or will ever work towards—a better place.

Why This Essay Worked

A Gripping Hook That Pulls the Reader In

The essay immediately immerses the reader with a strong sensory opening:

"The heavy smell of bleach and sickness intermingled as I, clutching my copy of Orwell's 1984, walked pointedly towards the waiting room."

This works because it’s visceral. It sets a mood. It hints at something deeper—the tension between literature (1984) and the harsh reality of the hospital.

A Personal and Authentic Journey

This essay isn’t just a list of experiences—it’s a journey.

It shows how I tested my interest in medicine by taking a CNA course.

It reveals emotional depth—facing patient loss at 14.

It conveys growth—how those experiences shaped my understanding of medicine.

Admissions committees want to see how you process your experiences. I didn’t just describe working in healthcare—I reflected on how it shaped my perspective.

A Unique & Memorable Conversation

The dialogue with Eleanor is unexpected and powerful. Instead of focusing on me, it highlights her wisdom.

This works because it flips the focus. Instead of writing about how I learned resilience, the essay lets Eleanor deliver the lesson: “To leave it a better place.”

Admissions officers read thousands of essays that say, “I love science. I want to help people.” This essay is memorable because of its storytelling and philosophical depth.

A Strong & Reflective Conclusion

The final sentence doesn’t just wrap up the essay—it connects it to my future goals.

"Her words, so simple, sanctified all I have, or will ever work towards—a better place."

This works because it reinforces my lifelong purpose in medicine. It doesn’t state "This is why I want to be a doctor" outright, but it shows it.

Key Takeaways for Your Own BS/MD Essay

Use a compelling hook to immediately immerse the reader.

Tell a story rather than just listing experiences.

Include dialogue to make the essay feel personal and real.

Show emotional depth—how you process challenges and grow.

End with a reflection that ties back to your motivation for medicine.

A powerful BS/MD personal statement isn’t just about what you’ve done—it’s about how your experiences have shaped you.

Final Thoughts

This essay got me into Brown PLME—but more than that, it shaped my entire career. It taught me the power of storytelling in admissions.

If you’re applying to BS/MD programs, your personal statement can set you apart. If you need expert feedback, Bridge2MD offers personalized coaching to help you craft a compelling, memorable essay.

📩 Want to maximize your chances? Book a free consultation today!